by Peter Atkinson

“Why isn’t anybody running…?”

Every now and then you’ll look at something and wonder why it’s not a thing. Maybe the models are expensive to buy so nobody wants to overcommit, maybe the points need a tickle to really make it flow or maybe you’re barking up the wrong tree and it would actually be shit. But we’ve all got a pet idea of something other people should be running – lists built around a theme, that we believe would at least be functionally competitive.

This is the first in a short series where our team of writers look at some list archetypes we’d like to see come more into the game in 2024, and what it would take to make them work. 

But we’re almost a month into 2024 now

That’s correct, the failure to release the quarterly Battlescroll is getting ridiculous. 

The original plan was to wait for the Battlescroll so any lists were up to date and relevant, but the lame duck listbuilding period just drags on and on, so here we are.

“Potentially at some point next month”? So maybe we’ll get it in February, when the next one is due in March? Lame. It should have been out well before LVO, and those results could just feed into the next one since by now it’s right around the corner. 

Anyway. As each Thursday looms, we can only scramble to push out these articles before the lists become obsolete hope that we wake up to some good news, but I’ve said my piece on that now and there’s no point dwelling on it any further.

Stormcast Chariot Spam

Believe it or not I’m a closet Stormcast fan myself – I almost picked them up way back in 2016 – but any time I ask myself why nobody has battered their way to a podium with Stormstrike Chariots, I remember that this is the GA whose player base has struggled to make Gotrek work. 

Why were Chariots overlooked? I broke a glass table last weekend (long story) and if you’ve ever broken safety glass you’ll know that a single crack will rapidly shatter into a million little pieces. We were sweeping up teeny tiny bits of glass for the best part of an hour and that, dear reader, is how broken Stormcast Dragons were upon release. Anything would be outshone by those bastards, so everyone looking at launch SCE skipped straight past the poor old Chariots and then forgot they ever existed. But these things are really solid, and I’m convinced there’s a list there.

Fast, decent enough output and pretty bloody rugged on their 3+ save. But it’s the charge mortals you’re taking them for and they are sharply pointed now at 150. Ogors wish they had a unit that gave them access to their own signature ability this cheap, with this combination of straight-line speed and durability. Shall we have a crack at doing a list?

Where to run them

What Stormhost is going to suit what we’re doing here? Unfortunately the Tempest Lords ability only applies to flying units:

So we’re probably looking at the all-rounder Stormhosts instead. We’ll be leaning into the ABC of Warhammer, so getting rewarded for charging is nice:

However, this ability only applies to one unit per phase, so it’s antithetical to the MSU style that Chariots funnels you towards. Exploding 6s on a small dice pool is way less impactful, and because Chariots are Single, we can’t even have a reinforced deathstar unit or two. So RIP.

That leads us back to old faithful. Nobody ever hates having their army on a 3+ 6++ in Hammers of Sigmar:

It’s a shame because Celly Vees look dope in their turquoise armour, unlike the cringe Gold on Gold colour scheme that they went with on the poster boys. In my opinion, that’s one big reason why some people think Stormcast are lame; but eh, we’ll just paint ’em however we like anyway. They’re our fuggin’ models.

Scions or Stormkeep?

Most people run Scions, understandably. KO are a thing, our own Castigators are looking like a thing and if Fusiliers turn out to be a thing, then hiding your key stuff off the board is one of the best forms of shooting protection that exists.

So for pure hipster value the sake of exploration, we’ll see how this list looks in Stormkeep. One knock on the Chariots is that they only cap as 2 models, so access to Cities chaff and / or Redeemers capping as 3 models each could help us contest primary objectives up until the point where our opponents are capping as 0 models, because we’ve charged the bastards right off the board.

What’s more, without any real charge bonuses, we’ll often get onto a shorter charge by moving 12″ across the board than by dropping in 9″ away. And if we do find we’re getting rapidly tabled by shooting armies, we can always have a meltdown on social media change things up later.

The List: Shock and Awesome

The Fundamentals

We want somewhere between 6 and 8 Chariots in here for the theme, and with no way to make them Battleline, we’ll need 3 chaff units too. So that’s putting us on about 10 units, which steers us towards a double Battle Reg straight away. Low drop could be quite important for this list so I’m happy to sit in that space.

Sequitors are great but we’re rocking our own ward in Hammers, so Vindictors with their 3+ save are my preference, and that means with say 6 Chariots in there we are 1230 points deep already, with Battleline sorted and one standard slot left in our Battle Reg (plus any monsters or artillery). 

The Shopping List

What’s on our wishlist for the remaining slots? We need help with reach, screening, objectives, mobility…a lot of things. The options I’m looking at are:

• Adding 7th Chariot
• Some Cities footsloggers to screen and stand on a point
• Some Dakka to blast off chaff screens and let us charge the good stuff
• Some reach, to batter the support pieces cowering behind the screens we’ll smash into
• Bulking up the Vindictors
• Ways to manipulate our charge rolls
• A teleport because they are good things to have in AOS
• A Monster for access to Rampages
• An unbind or three

So it’s fair to say that there are a lot of holes in this army, and we won’t realistically plug them all with 770 points. It’s a skew list and that comes with the turf – if you’re looking for an easy 5-0, look elsewhere.

The shoots-twice Longstrikes are a really tempting package in any Stormcast list and come bundled with a Priest packing Translocate, so there’s listbuilding value there, and I had them in and out of various iterations of this army. But what I settled on is this.

Our approach to winning games

Those Vexis give us full rerolls to fish for big charges – we’ll be Translocating them up into a prime location for just that purpose, with High Priest to help us. And if we get any helpful points drops, that prayer gets even easier with a Lord-Relictor in there instead.

The Knight-Vexillors are in there to bombard the heart of their army with 3 x D3 mortals across the board, with the option to pick off a straggling wound here and there from the Chariot shooting if required (they shouldn’t find it too hard to get up inside 12″ by turn 2). 

We’ll be pumping our PMDs into the unbinds from the Arcane Tome, while the Vinnies set up camp on objectives, capping as 15 models with a unit coming back for free too. You can pull off some sweet dick moves tricks by dumping the new unit straight onto an objective and changing the shape of the board unexpectedly.

The Kharibdyss is a stone cold bargain and a sweet, sweet mini too so he’s our pick for Roaring and Loonshrine-smashing fun times. And all of this builds up into a crescendo, as wave after wave of Chariots crash into and through the opposing army for the ultimate shock and awe.

Why the fuck are you taking a Fusil Major?

I mean, it does have some nerd cred. It’s a pretty unique mini that won’t see much play with its current rules, and that’s exactly why slamming one down on the table is a chad move.

It’s not completely frivolous: the shooting could ping the last wound off a model that was weakened by the Vexis, and the Arcane Tome (which it’s able to take as a Coalition unit in Stormkeep) gives us a regluar unbind to fling our PMDs at. The SCE artefacts don’t really help us much so we might as well get a little bit of mileage out of the Coalition rules in Stormkeep, and look good doing it.

You could just as easily slap in a couple of Gyros for similar rule of cool with added Battle Tactic juice, or another Vexi or Chariot, but the Warhulk is a bit of a flex in case this list didn’t already have enough swagger.

Tuning it up

We’re trying to make a meme list that’s quite decent here, rather than a tourney-crushing juggernaut, but I would argue that 1 or 2 Chariots is a real asset it any list that can take them. If you really wanted to make them shine I’d suggest slotting a couple of Chariots into one of the classic SCE power builds, rather than running a whole army of them; they’re probably best placed as a tool within a broader army rather than being the whole army. That’s where I think they’re really underrepresented currently but even as a theme list, I do believe there’s untapped potential. I reckon I could go 4-1 with this list given a decent draw, 3-2 regularly.

Tightarse Corner

You could cobble together the Chariots themselves from plasticard and / or pieces of sprue, and glue any old Stormcast models on the back. Vexillors are another one you can kitbash from generic Stormcast (especially the heroes) and whatever crap you have lying around in your garage. 

So if you’re into kitbashing and converting at even a fairly basic level (like me), it’s an achievable little project overall.

In Conclusion

The list might honestly be better with a squadron of 2 or 3 Chariots rather than going ham on them like I have here, but I do think they’re under-used and under represented competitively. The full spam list would be a fun conversion project and give you quick games – it’s something I’d be happy to take to an event myself, maybe not if I was looking for a 5-0, but for a semi-competitive “More time at the bar” outlook, it’d go pretty well.

Let me know what you reckon, including if you think I’m full of shit and the list is garbage. I can handle it, because (a) Frankly I’ve got plenty of runs on the board at this stage and (b) I’m seriously tempted by the project and open to ideas on how to refine it.

Have a good week, nerds – and maybe there’s a Battlescroll waiting for us on the other side.

Credit for cover image to Games Workshop

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