So Gabe Huddlestone posed an interesting question on Twitter: what’s the fastest unit in the game?
Gabe set out the following parameters:
- Movement buffs are included (exploring those is kinda the point!)
- Teleports aren’t included, obviously
- You can charge, but can’t include charge buffs (not really sure why, but it’s Gabe’s game we’re playing!)
So with those rules of engagement, what’s the most a unit can move in a turn? Chaos and Death players were coming up with 73″ or 76″ combos, but don’t worry, Destruction can leave them trailing in the dirt.
Spoiler alert: Bonesplitters are abbreviated to BS for a reason!
In the real world, my own PB on the tabletop was a Rogue Idol moving 60″ per turn in Big Waaagh. This came from casting the Bonesplitterz spell Breath of Gorkamorka to double his move and make him fly; as well as enjoying a Mighty Destroyers move in the Hero Phase (accessed in Big Waaagh via the Brutish Cunning Command Trait).
Because I cast the spell on a double, the base move of 10″ tripled to 30″ instead of doubling, and Pebbles was doing that twice in a turn. My opponent Ken had been trying to stay out of his range…yeah good luck with that, Ken! The Rogue Idol with two sets of buffs is bullshit. Wonderful, wonderful bullshit.
Speaking of bullshit…
A personal favourite artefact from the Bonesplitterz book is Mystic Waaagh Paint:
My own plan is to slam this on a Wardokk who knows Kunnin Beast Spirits, so that with his dance and doubling down on the spell, you can stack +3 to save on a unit. It’s only a 1 in 6 chance that you get the spell you wanted, but you’ll be attempting it a couple of times each game, so over the course of an event you’ll probably hit lucky a couple of times; and when you do, it’s a potential table-flipper.
The other spell with which I think this Artefact has legs is Breath of Gorkamorka. Pay tribute to Loonboss Donal by doubling and doubling again; or better yet, if we’re talking theoreticals (and we are), let’s assume we cast on doubles, meaning we treble the movement…then treble it again. So that’s 9 times (NINE FUCKING TIMES) your base move.
Who’s the lucky boy then?
A Rogue Idol, moving twice in Big Waaagh, is certainly a worthy recipient of Mork’s blessing. With his 10″ base move trebled and trebled again, that’s buffed to 90″ per move, or 180″ per turn.
Pretty good, right?
But how about we see how far we can push it with the fastest unit in the book? That would be Boarboys, who enjoy a 12″ base move, exploding to 108″ when we multiply it NINE FUCKING TIMES.
They don’t have the Ironjawz keyword, so putting them in Big Waaagh isn’t going to help them get a Mighty Destroyers move; but don’t worry, this is Bonesplitterz we’re talking about, and we know there’s a mad combo in there somewhere.
Let’s put them in Icebonez, so they can retreat at the end of the Combat Phase. So that’ll be 108″ twice, thank you very much!
Finish the thought
The one and only Darren Watson pointed out that no movement combo is complete without Chronomatic Cogs. So that’s an extra 2″ onto their movement, taking them to 110″.
You can also put the Brutal Beast Spirits spell on them to add a further +1″ to run and charge, and they charge at +2″ natively (due to the unit’s musician). With Cogs, that’s +5″ on the charge in total.
Just to rub it in, you can run and charge with the Brutal Rukk batallion:
And pile in 6″ thanks to Wild Abandon, from the Monster Hunter table within the Bonesplitterz Allegiance Abilities:
So let’s bring it on home
(9x 12″ base move, +2″ from Cogs, and 6″ + 1″ run)
(Charging after running thanks to the Brutal Rukk Battalion – we’re not allowed to count charge bonuses here, although we do have ’em!)
Pile in 6″
(With Wild Abandon from the Monster Hunter table)
(Thanks to Icebone, and still running with the same bonuses as above)
So all in total: 252″ in a turn, and that’s without counting the +5″ to charge. Zoooooom!
Is this practical?
No, not remotely. You’ll never get the full wombo combo off, and even if you did, it would be massive overkill anyway. It’s really just a thought experiment and a bit of fun, although it does have some real-world applications:
- Mystic Waaagh! Paint is an overlooked artefact that can just blow the game wide open if you hit lucky.
- There are a lot of competitive double-battalion, low-drop Bonegrinz lists being cooked up currently. In the context of a 3-artefact army, it’s certainly worth considering.
- Putting that artefact on a Wizard who knows Kunnin Beast Spirits may be the best usage.
- Doubling the movement characteristic (and flying) is pretty reliable, requiring only a single cast with a generous 24″ casting range, meaning you can potentially cast from the backboard out of unbind range.
- In a Big Waaagh army, you can reliably get a Rogue Idol (which also buffs your casting) to move twice thanks to Brutish Cunning or the Ironfist battalion.
- This effectively quadruples his movement and makes him fly, which is very achievable; and already at that point, with a 40″ flying move, you’re getting wherever you need to go.
- Similarly in Icebone warclan, the extra retreat move after combat means you get a double benefit from the movement spell on a unit that is already very fast; this will get you where you need to go, and it can be achieved reliably.
So what do you reckon? Is the double-treble flying move the best in the west, or have you got a unit that you could jack up to go faster? Let us know, here or on Twitter!