2019: A Year In Plastic

Podcast of the Year

Congratualtions to Bush Radio from Measured Gaming:


I do have an interest to declare here, because Joel and Dave are good friends of mine, but these guys have been SMASHING IT.

Fair warning, this show gets pretty fucking loose, so it’s not for everybody – and certainly not one to put on the Bluetooth speaker at home if you have kids floating around. 

But the last few shows have really hit their stride and had me absolutely creased – Pat’s rant about sexy men in Warhammer will go down in Sigmarite history.

Tweet of the Year

If you haven’t been playing air guitar in your undies, you haven’t been Twittering right.

Blog Post of the Year

I cannot recommend highly enough that you read this article:



This honestly made me well up.  I’d encourage anyone who hasn’t done so to read both parts, and value what you have.

Rest in peace, brother.

Achievement Unlocked of the Year

What’s the most Destructive Bulk charges you have managed to chain together with a Maw Krusha? 

For me it was four: I’d softened up a few support Heroes with Spear Chukkas, then went BAM! BAM! BAM! straight through the lot of them, finally crashing into a unit of Black Knights.  “Satisfying” doesn’t even begin to cover it!

But let’s hear it for Kakwah, who virtually doubled my own PB at SAGT in March this year, when he chained together SEVEN in a combo charge.  I’ve proactively searched for anyone who can match or beat that, with no success – so all hail Megaboss Kakwah and his World Record!

If you want to try and go one further yourself, the Cannonball Krusha build is worth a look: and don’t forget you can now soften up your opponents with Arrow Boys in the Big Waaagh too. Records are there to be broken, ladies and gents!

Battletome of the Year

Orruk Warclans.  I’ve waxed lyrical about this one over the course of 10 (Ten!) articles, so I won’t go over old ground here – go check them out. 

I’m having so much fun with Big Waaagh that I’ve barely touched Ironjawz or Bonesplitterz, but there’s so much to enjoy there too.  Come On You Boyz In Green!

Battletome Review of the Year

Doom’s Bonesplitterz review.  Red hot takes from Doom and his guest Matt Gammie, when the book was still warm from the printing press. 

Loads of great ideas and tricks for the army, and the joy shines through.  They absolutely nailed it.

Worst Battletome of the Year

FEC, take a bow.  The phrase “broken” is wildly overused, but this travesty of a book literally broke the Combat Phase, which is only the most important part of the game.

In their pomp, any moron could push these fuckers forward and win games – and many did.  Just take a look at the twists and turns and keyword convulsions in the Gloomspite book to make sure they weren’t “too good”, and compare it to the wild abandon with which this bullshit was allowed to run free –the rules writers should really be having a good look at themselves here. 

Aided and abetted by a home-town ruling in the Khorne FAQ, these twats completely sucked the joy out of the game for combat armies for a while there, until thankfully the changes with GH19 brought them back in line. Get thee to a nunnery!

Sex Face of the Year

Check out this little beauty, from Codex Space Marines:

Feel free to send in your own nominations from Codex / Battletome art for this award next year, people!

Missed Opportunity of the Year

No Endless Spells for Orruk Warclans.  Honestly, WTF was that about?  It’s on the record that I loved the book overall, and I’m not going to let this ruin the release for me – but in an era when even anti-magic armies are getting Endless Spells, it’s straight up fucking lazy that a magic army like Bonesplitterz didn’t get them. 

Foot of Gork. Green Puke. Hand of Gork. We have literal manifestations of physical magic on the Battlefield, but we don’t get Endless Spells? Piss weak.

Artwork of the Year

This little beauty from Battletome: Orruk Warclans:

Bonesplitterz and Ironjawz, together at last!  And a Maw Krusha taking a big fucking chomp out of a dumbass dinosaur for good measure.

I’m peronally keeping a keen eye out for this one to appear on Warhammer Art!  Love it.

Rules Writing of the Year

The best FAQ this year never actually made it into the FAQ, that’s how on-it they were. 

The Bonesplitterz section of Battletome Orruk Warclans included a pre-FAQ, specifying that exploding 6s stack:

I have no insider knowledge, but this smacks to me of a good catch by the playtesting team – and if so, kudos to them for a job well done.

Batrep of the Year

Fat Lads or Greenskinz, who do Gork and Mork love more?  Check out Doom showcasing the new Mawtribes book against Ironsunz…the results can only be described as “emphatic”!

If this batrep was a Billy Idol song, she’d cry MAW MAW MAW.

Miniature of the Year

Always a hard one, hey? 

Honourable Mention #1 to the new Keeper of Secrets which was certainly in contention, but its striking pose is some ways the problem: you usually see multiples of this model on the table together, and they end up looking too samey.  Still a very cool model though, and probably the biggest step change from a shitty, ugly old mini since The Black Coach.

Honourable Mention #2 to Skragrott.  Nicely detailed, a joy to paint, and the cloak plus Squig retinue was a really smart way of having a centrepiece Grot that is still Grot-sized, and not riding on the back of something bigger.  A mini worthy of a Loonking.

Honourable Mention #3 to Katakros.  I get that this will be a divisive choice, because some people aren’t on board with the whole diorama look, but I loved it.  He looks so dominant and commanding, and it’s a really impressive effect on the tabletop.  It fits in with, and enhances, the disciplined, pseudo-Roman martial theme of the army so well.  A triumph.

And the winner is… The Chaos Lord on Karkadrak.

Look at him. He’s here to conquer.

The mount itself is so cool and unique – and the grey-green colour scheme is just perfect.

I’m actually a fan of all middleweight mounted Heroes, including each of the many Stormcast variants; but this one takes the biscuit, and catapults straight in at Number 1 in his category.

Awesome to see a cool centrepiece like this launch straight into a Start Collecting, alongside the other new Slaves to Darkness minis. This army is all set to sell by the truckload!

Now where the fuck is my Megaboss on Gore Grunta? Come on, we don’t ask for much!

Worst Mini of the Year

The OBR Terrain piece. This was a monumental fuck-up, from conception to execution, from aesthetics to rules.  The practicalities of using this at a tournament are an unnecessary headache, and slamming down a massive phallus in the centre of the table which displaces everything around it is an incredibly confrontational way to start the game. 

I get that the game is not called Peacehammer, but you could write entire postgrad dissertations on the ways in which this thing is fucked up. I was actually half-tempted to do an army, until I saw this piece of shit.

A time-consuming minigame around terrain placement is the last thing this game needs.  Please, no more.

Warscroll of the Year

Rogue Frikkin’ Idol, take a bow.  All they needed to do was add the Ironjawz and Bonesplitterz keywords…and that’s pretty much all they did do. 

His “Stone Skeleton” got a minor nerf (although it can be situationally better), but he also got the Orruk keyword, which means he really shines in Big Waaagh.  The overlapping keywords and buffs are a joy to work with, and this beautiful hunk of rock and moss brings sunshine and rainbows to this drab world of ours.  As a piece of fan-service it was a masterstroke, but he does have serious chops in a lot of Bonesplitterz or Big Waaagh builds.

Rejoice, for the Rogue Idol and Arachnarok Spider are both serious competitive options.  What a time to be alive!

My Game of the Year

After putting together a couple of wins at Saggy T in Adelaide this year, I was playing Mick from the Failed Charge podcast up on the nosebleed tables.  Mick was running Blisterskin FEC, which along with Skaven was brand new on the scene and already tearing it up.  I’d taken Kunnin Rukk as an army that could hopefully handle itself against both (as well as DOK), and I did end up playing all three at this event.

We played on Better Part of Valour, and let me tell you: this was an absolute EPIC.  My dakka and high wound count, versus Mick’s punishing anti-bravery tech and brutal combat.  We had triple movement spells cast on a double, a GKoZD being killed by a humble Savage Orruk, Ladz dying in their droves to Flayers, a spell cast on an 11 and unbound on a 12, and a unit of 30 Arrow Boyz summoned back on a natural 6. BOOM!

The game finished 8-8 on the scenario, but Mick smashed me on Kill Points to claim the Minor on his way to a 5-0 performance (all 4 other wins were Majors), and 2nd Place overall.

Mick was an absolute gent when I needed a pause to think through the permutations of burning versus contesting objectives; this was a game where every roll was bringing a huge swing in emotions, and I had to constantly calculate and recalculate the equation.  This Battleplan gets some stick, but I think our game was a great advert for the kind of games it can give you, and also for how exciting and tense a game between two completely different competitive armies can be. 

I can also confirm that Mick drank me under the table on the Friday night, so I make that 2-0 to him in the head to head! Looking forward to throwing down with you again this year mate.

So there you have it! 2019 had its ups and downs, but all in all it was a rippa of a year. I’d love to hear what your own awards for the best and worst would be, so hit me up in the comments below or on Twitter!

6 thoughts on “2019: A Year In Plastic

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