by the Plastic Craic Team
You can’t keep Queensland down – Henry and the gang at Polymath Tabletop have been ripping up trees this past year or two, and Contest of Fools just keeps getting bigger. We’re here today to bring you our hand-selected highlights of the best and coolest lists at this 60-player event, one for every GA, and maybe have the odd poke at our dear friends in the North too.
Destruction, by Peter Atkinson
Power Pick: David Sulava, Gloomspite Gits
Every so often, the obvious choice is the right choice: when you see a top player rocking a million Boingrots, you know they’re here to conquer. That principle worked with the Cancon preview where I found you a 5-0 before the event, and it might just work again here, because David has both the top-end competitive list and the skills to make it pay.
Allegiance: Gloomspite Gitz
– Gittish Horde: King’s Gitz
– Grand Strategy: Chasing the Moon
– Triumphs: Indomitable
Leaders
Skragrott, The Loonking (230)*
Loonboss on Mangler Squigs (330)*
– General
– Command Trait: Fight Another Day
– Artefact: Loonstone Teefcaps
Battleline
20 x Moonclan Shootas (120)*
15 x Boingrot Bounderz (480)*
– Reinforced x 2
15 x Boingrot Bounderz (480)*
– Reinforced x 2
Units
5 x Gobbapalooza (180)*
– Spell1: Lore of the Moonclans: The Hand of Gork
6 x Sneaky Snufflers (150)*
Core Battalions
*Battle Regiment
Total: 1970 / 2000
Reinforced Units: 4 / 4
Allies: 0 / 400
Wounds: 117
Drops: 1
The list has a laser-focus on what it’s trying to do, with the discipline forced by the one-drop structure keeping it all pulling in one direction. And that direction is a straight line between David’s Boingrots and your army’s rectum.
If the opposition can move fast and hit hard, there’s only one thin screen standing between this army and annhilation, and when the Loonboss crashes he takes the Grand Strategy down with him. That’s not hard to do with his 4+ save. But being a one-drop gives David a lot of control over Prio, so it’ll be rare that you get the chance to pop the Shootas then double him; and in King’s Gits you may well have to table the army twice to put it away for good. If you think you can easily handle 8 Boingrots coming back from the Shrine, you probably haven’t been playing against 8 Boingrots very often.
What I love about this army is how David has crammed in a fully-loaded Mangler Boss as the icing on the cake. You might see it as a way of eating points in a one-drop, but in truth there’s plenty of ways David could have spent those resources: two foot heroes with the Clammy Hand CT and Mommet Artefact (for enhanced summoning plus rend, respectively), and a cheap Monster from the Gits portfolio (or even an allied Beast-skewer artillery piece) could put those points to productive use. But the Fight Another Day Mangler Boss will be Stylin’ and Profilin’ all over the Battlefield and I can’t wait to see how it does for him.
The pimped-out Mangler Boss is one of those pieces every Loonboss wants to centre in their list, but the points cost, fragility and opportunity cost of swallowing up your CT makes it too tough in practice – for most people. If he gets shot off, he gets shot off, but there’s still wave upon wave of Squiggly Badness coming at you. Good luck fella.
Coolest List: Ashley Chapman, Gloomspite Gits
Another Gits list? Well they both have Skragrott, but that’s mostly where the similarities end.
Allegiance: Gloomspite Gitz
– Gittish Horde: King’s Gitz
– Grand Strategy: Chasing the Moon
– Triumphs: Indomitable
Leaders
Skragrott, The Loonking (230)**
– Lore of the Moonclans: The Hand of Gork
Webspinner Shaman on Arachnarok Spider (240)*
– General
– Command Trait: Supa-nasty Venom
– Artefact: Totem of the Spider God
– Lore of the Spiderfang: Curse of da Spider God
Scuttleboss on Gigantic Spider (130)*
– Artefact: Headdress of Many Eyes
Fungoid Cave-Shaman (110)*
– Lore of Primal Frost: Hoarfrost
Webspinner Shaman (70)***
– Lore of Primal Frost: Merciless Blizzard
Battleline
10 x Spider Riders (180)**
– Reinforced x 1
40 x Moonclan Shootas (240)**
– Reinforced x 1
10 x Spider Riders (180)***
– Reinforced x 1
Units
5 x Loonsmasha Fanatics (110)***
Behemoths
Aleguzzler Gargant (140)
Skitterstrand Arachnarok (170)**
Skitterstrand Arachnarok (170)***
Core Battalions
*Command Entourage – Magnificent
**Battle Regiment
***Battle Regiment
Artefact
Total: 1970 / 2000
Reinforced Units: 3 / 4
Wounds: 164
Drops: 6
Huh. Is he trying to fight you with Spiders? It looks like he’s trying to fight you with Spiders.
For context I ran Spiderfang myself at Vic GT, and I’ll write that one up separately, but since they can’t fight for shit, I focused in closely on Battle Tactics and stealing objectives and pretty much gave up on killing anything.
Although Ash has that one unit of Shootas that puts a few bases on the table, this list doesn’t have the objective grabbing power of Stabbas and Warparties, so I guess he’s trying to table you? With Spiders. Well I guess the list does at least have a backup plan if he doesn’t roll enough 6s.
Let’s be fair, the Shammy can really spike if he rolls hot: with Supa Nasty Venom, that’s 6 MWs on every 6+. But that’s only across 4 dice, so how many are you actually going to roll? 1 or 2 if you hit lucky? Zero if you don’t?
It’ll go off properly about one time per event, and when it does, you’ll feel like a million dollars.
The rest of the time, you’ll feel more like a million Zimbabwean dollars.
Source: XE.com
When you look at how Spiders fight, in practice it’s actually a lot like Kruleboyz, if KB had fewer models and only 1” range. So if you want to try and table people with Kruleboyz But Worse, then this is your opportunity. I guess.
The important thing is that I can guarantee that Ash doesn’t care about that. You don’t think he knows what he’s getting himself into here? Child please. He’s running Spiderfang and Goblins and a Giant because they’re amazing, and you can’t stop him. There’s a little bit of fun you can have with the Aleguzzler in this list by casting Hand of Gork on him and cracking off the charge with 3D6″ – one time per event, you’ll live the dream and he’ll just zip across from outta nowhere to kick down some faction terrain and punt a support off into the moon.
Granted, the rest of the time he’ll get stuck in a protracted combat with an 80-point screen before eventually dying embarrassingly, but that’s the kind of thing other people worry about – not Ash.
The list is epic, on the table it will look epic and the games will be epic. This isn’t a list to grind out podiums, it’s a list to give you stories that you’ll be talking about years later, and I’m here for it. If you’re reading this, Ash – I hope you have a blast.
Chaos, by Pat Nevan
Editor Pete had a bit to say about the good old Chaos Alliance being hollowed out and dull in our last Vic GT list review. I generally take his views on Age of Sigmar with a single grain of salt that I carefully place on top of the 10 kilogram bag of salt I consume before reading his stuff, but I had a bit of a peruse of the Chaos lists doing the rounds and he might just be on to something for a change.
The Chaos Alliance has become a bit dull and predictable with nothing but stale seen-it-before power lists hitting the tables as we wind down the clock in the Lame Duck Era. Still, whatcha gonna do? The last proper new Chaos release, besides dogshit Warcry warbands and single characters, was Hedonites of Slaanesh all the way back at the start of 2021. The major change for 3rd Ed for the Big Four was losing access to useful units through garbage Coalition rules. Everything has one build that competes, and that’s about it.
Honestly it’s not like anybody else’s armies are super interesting at the moment. The real take away from reading 60 lists for a review is thank God for a hard reset and good riddance to Andtorian Locuses. Still, there’s a couple of gems to be found so here we go with a Power Pick and a Coolest List.
Power Pick: Jayden Hargreaves – Maggotkin of Nurgle
Allegiance: Maggotkin of Nurgle
Subfaction: Befouling Host
Grand Strategy: Corrupt Arcane Nexus
Triumphs: Bloodthirsty
Leaders
Bloab Rotspawned (310)
Lore of Malignance: Gift of Disease
Orghotts Daemonspew (320)
The Glottkin (580)
Lore of Malignance: Rancid Visitations
Sloppity Bilepiper, Herald of Nurgle (120)*
- General
- Command Trait: Eater of Magic
- Artefact: Arcane Tome (Universal Artefact)
Battleline
1 x Beasts of Nurgle (100)*
10 x Plaguebearers (120)*
10 x Plaguebearers (120)*
10 x Plaguebearers (120)*
Units
3 x Nurglings (100)*
3 x Nurglings (100)
Core Battalions
*Battle Regiment
Total: 1990 / 2000
Reinforced Units: 0 / 4
Wounds: 144
Drops: 4
This one was a bit of a tough call. I quite like Jason Spedding’s Hedonite’s of Slaanesh Blissbarb spam list, but unfortunately he is way too nice of a guy to run it too its full potential. He is making the trip up from Victoria though so say hello; don’t let the 70 Blissbarbs fool you, he’s a good dude.
The best Nurgle lists keep it simple and this one does exactly that with a monster mash backed up by a surprising number of dirt-cheap demonic bodies. Nothing fancy at all here, just throw the screens up if you need them, grind forwards, and let the disease, the wheel and the quality of your big-ass monsters get the job done.
I like the choice to stick with a Sloppity general as a big Fuck You to GW for nerfing them in the last update. Old Bagpipes is still money, but a Poxbringer with a Witherstave would make a lot more sense. Still, I think it shows the proper fighting spirit. Good for you Jayden, don’t let em push you or Papa around with their weak-ass nerfs.
Eater of Magic is an excellent choice for a command trait if you have one to throw away, and 5 wound Daemons of Nurgle absolutely do. It’s the “Unbind a spell, and on a 5 up the caster no longer knows it” which will give your opponent something to sweat over as long as you have a couple of Primals, and is guaranteed to come in clutch at least once in a 5 rounder. Hopefully meaning some asshat can’t teleport his Pigs around anymore. Great choice and it shows someone has been thinking outside the box.
There are two types of Nurgle monster mash, or Nurgle list in general for that matter: with Really Stinky Fly General taking Splithorn Helm, and Without, and this is as good as it gets for the “Without” kind. With good luck and good management it can go all the way.
Coolest Chaos Army: Gabriel Hanna – Slaves to Darkness
Allegiance: Slaves to Darkness
- Damned Legion: Host of the Everchosen
- Grand Strategy: Overshadow
Leaders
Chaos Sorcerer Lord (120)
- General
- Command Trait: Arch-sorcerer
- Artefact: Chaos Familiar
- Mark of Chaos: Undivided
- Lore of Primal Frost: Hoarfrost
- Chaos Sorcerer Lord (120)*
Chaos Sorcerer Lord (120)*
- Mark of Chaos: Slaanesh
- The Lore of the Damned: Chaotic Conduit
Battleline
10 x Chaos Chosen (460)*
- Mark of Chaos: Slaanesh
- Ensorcelled Banner: The Banner of Screaming Flesh
- Reinforced x 1
20 x Chaos Warriors (360)*
- Hand Weapon & Shield
- Mark of Chaos: Nurgle
- Ensorcelled Banner: The Eroding Icon
- Reinforced x 1
6 x Varanguard (560)*
- Mark of Chaos: Nurgle
- Reinforced x 1
Units
6 x Ogroid Theridons (300)*
- Mark of Chaos: Khorne
- Reinforced x 1
6 x Furies (80)*
Core Battalions
*Battle Regiment
Total: 2000 / 2000
Reinforced Units: 4 / 4
Allies: 0 / 400
Wounds: 152
Drops: 1
When I first read about the Old World being launched it was my fondest hope that Gabe would quit AOS and finally go back to where he came from, but here we are. I’m a big enough man to admit that despite our long history of personal animosity I can respect what I think he is trying to do with this list and it is actually pretty cool.
What we have is the old fashioned Iron Legions of the little-utilized Hosts of the Everchosen, in a classic Old World Fantasy Chaos Legion. A couple of Sorcerers, a bunch of metal dudes with shields, a bunch of metal dudes with big-ass weapons, some cav, some big-ass minotaur-looking dudes and a couple of Furies. Pretty much a classic Chaos legion. You can almost picture the whole thing arriving in a single box set.
As an added bonus, unlike gaming, podcasting or turning up to events, Gabe is actually really good at painting and this army is sure to look magnificent on the tabletop. Unfortunately that is about all it will accomplish while Gabe is running it. In the hands of an average or even below average gamer, it has all the tools to win a few games.
Despite every unit of Varanguard in existence having a Khorne mark and Fellspears they are still pretty effective with a Nurgle mark and whatever Gabe has given then them. 10x Chosen with the Slaanesh banner hit like trucks, as will those Theridons, while 20x Nurgle Chaos Warriors are an excellent tarpit. Back that up with a 5+ rally for the Chaos Warriors and the Chosen, and anyone with a brain between their ears should win a couple.
As always Gabe will be relying on his opponents being called away on personal emergencies. Assuming he shows up on the day that is. Still, it is a pretty cool list.
Order, by Joel McGrath
I’m not sure what drugs the Order players up in Queensland are smoking, but it doesn’t matter because they’ve given me some interesting choices to write about! Unlike Vic GT where there were a whole lot of uninteresting KO builds and not much else, the guys and gals here are putting on a proper show, with Draconith Skywings, multiple flavours of Aelven taint to satisfy any of the Dark Prince’s cravings, and more Fyreslayer armies at one event than you’ve probably seen before anywhere in the world. On principle, I won’t be choosing a Kharadron Overlords list as either cool or powerful in this writeup. Throw me in the Book of Grudges, I don’t give a fuck as you wouldn’t be the first. Any who.
Power Pick: Andrew Price – Cities of Sigmar
To answer your first question: No, I haven’t picked a Cities of Sigmar army just because they’re the latest hotness. Do I think this is THE strongest Order list going to the event? Not really, but I do really like what I see here. It is definitely the better CoS list. Dylan, you were “thiiiis” close to being picked instead, but your CT does nothing for you and I’m not sure if you’re aware of that. Chalk it up as “Queensland legal” and move on I suppose.
So what’s in Andrew’s list?
I like to write these articles in the same style as to how I would tell someone how my army works at the start of every game, so I’ll do that with some commentary to make it digestible:
- Andrew’s City is Hammerhal Aqsha, an unpopular pick but it is solid, giving you an extra Order. Pretty neat when Tahlia gets 2 already, and so does Smashgriffon once per game. Orders are the Cities’ only allegiance ability, so it makes sense to get the most out it, especially as a Human army with good Orders.
- Speaking of Smashgriffon, this model is (without checking) the highest damage output of any monster in the game for its under-costed points value of 270. You can only wound it on an unmodified 4+ thanks to the Grizzled Veteran command trait, and it always has +1 rend and damage on the lance, which stacks with the other +1 rend and damage you get on the charge. Combo that with extra attacks or rend with Orders for doing piss-easy things in the game, and you’re onto a winner.
- The Cavalier-Marshall is one of the key ingredients in any Cities army IMO, combo’d here with some Cavaliers which makes for one of the biggest “Are you sure you want to charge my Steelhelms?” threats in the game. The secret sauce is Finest Houring on your opponent’s turn, giving you and your other friends on ponies +3” to charge. But Joel, you might be asking; what good is +3” to charge in my opponent’s turn? Orders, my dear reader. They’re going to charge you in your own turn thanks to the counter charge Order (which he’ll have in abundance thanks to Hammerhal), then fight first and chain activate with a whole bunch of Rend -3 Damage 2 attacks. And even if the thought of all that happening to you in your own turn prevents you from charging, the good news is he can just rip your head off and shit down your neck in his turn instead. I think the only change I’d like to see in this list would have to be a second Cavalier-Marshall. They’re just so damn good.
- The rest of Andrew’s list is made up of all the normal stuff and self-explanatory: screens and a bit of shooting. Important to note the bold choice by going for a Steam Tank instead of the Pontifex for ranged output. Oh, then there’s the Command Corps because they’re the other allegiance ability and you don’t need to worry about what they do.
Good luck Andrew, I’ll be cheering you on from the couch!
Coolest list: Elliot Moran – Sylvaneth
This was a hard one for me to choose. Avid readers of the blog will know I’m a massive Stormcast fan, and there are plenty of Stormcast lists to choose from, even some wicked Fyreslayer armies that unfortunately just didn’t quite cut the mustard for me. So here we are, with back-to-back Aelf lists for Coolest List. What has the Order grand alliance come to?
Firstly, I want to shout out Zachary Lehr’s list featuring Alarielle, which admittedly is cool, but I’ve chosen Elliot’s list instead because it’s not low-key competitive like Zach’s. Nor screaming “Try Hard” like Gammie’s, but he probably won’t even rock up anyway, so there’s not much point delving any deeper into that.
- Elliot has gone for Oakenbrow, which is the only logical choice for subfaction when you’re running, count them, 4 Treelords! What this does is halve the amount of wounds suffered in regard to their damage table, making them fight on top bracket for way longer than they deserve to.
- The season of war is The Dwindling, allowing a reroll for a cast, unbind etc in each hero phase. Solid if you need to keep your Primal dice to be defensive with, or don’t want to miscast in your own phase.
- While the list is thin, there are still key components to score battle tactics, including two units of Tree-Revenants for hugging the board edges. And in fairness they aren’t all that bad in combat for their points. You’d be wise to deal with one or both of those units first, even though it seems like a bad idea.
- But none of that matters. There’s 5 big boys in total, 4 Trees backed up by Belthanos. Running, charging, teleporting then striking and fading. Making you fight last and bending you over a toppled tree to ram another one home.
I’m not sure of Elliot’s gaming prowess or accolades. But I wish him luck in his games because he deserves it – and he’s probably going to need it.
Death by Calvin Rarie
The End Times are nigh! Well, for the FEC Battletome anyway–RIP to all the real ones out there playing with a Battletome that only has a three month shelf life.
The rest of Death is sitting pretty though, and it’s been a good year or two for the second best Grand Alliance (after Destruction of course). That said, outside of the FEC lists, we’re seeing some real lame-duck list creation as–for the time being anyway–OBR and Soulblight both feel solved, for the most part. This isn’t to say they aren’t powerful, fun, or are overall bad choices in the meta, just that you can only read MORGHAST ARCHAI so much before you want to ban those words from ever being written again. On the flipside, I do want to go on the record and say I have never seen an event with nine god damn Zombie Dragons in it before, so bravo! (There’s also four Terrorgheists, but who’s counting?)
That said, let’s jump into what and who I think is the packleader in Death for the Contest of Fools:
Power Pick: Aaron Gensch, Ossiarch Bonereapers
Look, OBR is great. It’s a great pick in just about every meta, and it’s a great army to pilot once you fundamentally understand how it works. It rewards tight decision making and going for the throat.
What I like in particular about Aaron’s list is a few things:
- Andtorian Acolytes is just too good to pass up right now. OBR is a resources army–primarily command points of course–but being able to make absolutely, 100% certain that you’re getting a Blizzard off is just as crucial as making sure you can win your unbinds in your opponent’s hero phases. It’s worth losing out on the 1 drop, in my opinion.
- Having two foot heroes means splitting up the Immortis Guard into 2x3s instead of a 1×6. Being able to project force is important, and gives two different options for scoring The Sculptor’s Entourage, rather than trying to line up your one brick of Immortis Guard + Mortisan hero.
Beyond these two big standouts, the rest of the army is pretty standard, with the 4x Morghast Archai relentlessly beating things to death with ease as well as your 2x 5 Kavalos Deathriders scoring you really easy tactics–in fact, I’m of the personal opinion that Deathriders are likely the single best unit in the book, but that’s an argument for another time.
Aaron, best of luck out there!
Coolest List: James Fuller, Flesh-eater Courts
You know what’s awesome? Big monsters.
You know what’s awesomer? Big monsters that come back to life.
Look, I’ll be honest here–this isn’t exactly what I would call a good list, and I’m not going to the lengths to disparage it either. This is a fun army and a fun list, and fun is cool! Hence the pick.
So what does it do? Well, for starters you’ve got the Ghoul King on Zombie Dragon, who does one thing and one thing well, and that’s hand out buffs. Need to get a big dragon on the other side of the map and still make a charge? The King’s warscroll spell has you covered, giving a friendly FEC monster wholly within range the ability to run and charge. Chickaletta’s mount trait makes the rest of the Paw Patrol hit better, handing out a +1 to hit for all FEC monsters wholly within 12″, and that counts for shooting attacks too! Having a load of Zombie Dragons focus firing, or even Unleashing Hell with a +1 to balance out the -1 to hit really racks the damage up over time.
Meanwhile, the regular Zombie Dragons can deepstrike, reigning Death from Above at the end of your movement phase, and even getting a cheeky d6″ movement from the Abhorrant Archregent (Ryder) and his warscroll spell. Speaking of, the Master of the Menagerie command trait lets those Abhorrants use their Noble Deed points to bring back slain, non-mounted FEC monsters back to the battlefield just like the Serfs and Knights.
Additionally, the Grim Garland artefact hands out -2 to Bravery to enemy units within 9″ of the Mayor on Chickaletta. This doesn’t sound like much, except for two things:
- It buffs Terrorgheist shooting, adding additional mortal wounds caused by the TG’s Death Shriek, and;
- Zombie Dragons have the Draconic Terror rule, which disables the Inspiring Presence rule while an enemy unit is within 3″ of it. Coupling this with the Bloodcurdling Shriek Monstrous Action from the FEC Battle Traits–which subtracts -2 bravery from an enemy unit within 3″ of the Monster on a 3+–means you can cause some pretty brutal battleshock checks for your opponent.
Lastly, Terrorgheists are slot machines, and will absolutely fuck your day up on their Fanged Maw bites, causing SIX MORTAL WOUNDS on unmodified 6s to hit. I wish James ALL the luck, and may your 6s spike!
(On an aside, what do you call Noble Deed points for the Paw Patrol? Paw Points?)
So there ya go! A couple of zingers for ya, and if you’re a glutton for punishment, you can check out all 62 lists right here on S&L:
https://my.statsandladders.com/tournament/show/0db66d54-4896-48d4-bff6-9addb07fbc26/players
Henry has also done a full list review on his YouTube channel, so go check that out too:
We hope everyone in attendance has a blast, and here’s wishing all our readers a great Easter. If you have time off work, please enjoy it, and if you don’t – sincere thanks for keeping the wheels turning.
See you on the other side.
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