If you got skills, then everybody gonna know your name
And if you suck, then you’re the only one ya can blame

~ YZ, (So Far) The Ghetto’s Been Good To Me

By Peter Atkinson and Thomas Oliver

We’re not done yet!  This weekend, the highest-achieving players in Australia will muster to smash together their toy soldiers on tables, in a bid to be crowned “King of the Nerds” Australian Master.  Masters is an invitational event for 16 of the country’s top players, based on ranking points earned across the year, with Masters 2024 taking place near Albury, NSW. In this article, we will deep dive into some of the dynamics of each matchup with hot and cold takes aplenty.

The Plastic Craic team will be out in force – we’re filling 3 of the 16 spots, plus Pat is TO for the event.  So let’s hear it for Plastic Craic team members Thomas Oliver, Joel McGrath and Michael Clarke who all have earned a place in Valhalla:

Today’s article will briefly run through the event format by way of providing some context, then we’ll get into the heart of it: a run-down of the Round 1 matchups, putting every contender in the spotlight, providing our predictions and setting ourselves up for a well-earned future spray from everyone we tip to lose (especially if the bastards do actually get up).  Then we’ll close the article by making our predictions on who will win the whole thing, probably also making a fool of ourselves and definitely making 15 new enemies from the people we don’t tip.

Given that half the writing team has qualified for the event, we can’t completely avoid conflicts of interest, so Pete will cover Thomas’s half of the draw, and Thomas will cover the other half.  Oh yeah – let’s welcome Thomas Oliver to the writing team!  Thomas is a top-tables gamer and a top-tier hobbyist, and he’ll be covering both aspects in his future articles. Rapt to have you aboard, mate.

Meanwhile let’s take the time to say au revoir to Michael Clarke. Clarkey is having some kind of midlife crisis but instead of buying himself a hooker and a bag of white powder Harley Davidson, he’s grabbed a campervan and gone grey nomad for the year. Masters 2024 will be Clarkey’s swansong on the Aussie scene but we’re looking forward to having him back at some point in 2025. You will be missed, my friend.

The Format

The biggest thing to be aware of is the elimination bracket format, built around a seeded draw: The event winner (and runner up) are the two players who make it through to the big dance. 

The draw is known in advance of list submission, but missions will be rolled up on the Friday night, so there’s an element of cat and mouse as people plot their way through the draw based on name recognition, trying to guesstimate what their Round 1 and potentially Round 2 opponents are likely to bring.

The full pack is pretty detailed, so here are some of the core takeaways:

• Close alignment with Worlds, for the benefit of the Aussie team members repping at both.
• This includes extra-long rounds of 3h30m, made possible by playing only two games per day.
• Chess clocks are compulsory.
• If you stuff up your list (e.g. forget to note down an artefact): Sux 2 BU.  This is considered a skill error and you have to wear it.
• No take backs.  Wear it.
• Impassible and Wyldwood terrain will be in action on curated tables.

Left-Hand Side of the Draw, by Peter Atkinson (Seeds in brackets)

Joel Graham (1) vs James Anderson (16)

Who has the drop? Both 1-drops

Who has the Triumph? James, Indomitable (Ignores Battleshock)

Jimmy Anderson (the Warhammer guy, not the cricket guy) has the toughest draw in Australia.  It would be a hell of a call to tip against Joel as number one seed – but how do you solve the conundrum that is bringing an A Tier list to an S Tier event, but with a God Tier pilot?

Joel will always be the first to underplay his chances – when we tipped him to go well at Cancon, he gave me a bit of shit about how soft his list was, shortly before going 5-0 (of course).  Who’d have seen that coming?  But this time….I dunno.  Any list with 6 Karenguard is automatically quite good, but dumping 800 points into Archaon is a pretty big statement.  And what that statement is saying (to me at least) is that Joel has largely put his cue in the rack for 3^rd Edition, he’s running an old favourite model for the last time and bringing a low model-count army to his hometown Masters for some relatively relaxed games.

And yet.  It’s still Joel Graham we’re talking about here, and once he’s at the tabletop, surely Joel’s Champion DNA will come to the fore?  The general idea would be that Archaon tanks you while the Karenguard Pac-Man their way through your army.  Those Karens are tough too, with defensive tech layered onto a 3+ base save.

You kinda need mortal wounds to deal with them…which Squigs can bring in abundance.  If Jimmy can keep Archaon the hell away from smashing his Loonshrine – and just putting some stuff vaguely nearby should be sufficient to block that huge pie plate base – those extra waves of angry jelly should pay dividends; and while any unit attacked by the Karens will turn into so much red sludge on their hooves, it’s just really hard to see how they outlive waves 4, 5 and 6 of Squiggly death.

The FAD Mangler Boss is lightning fast and an absolute savage, but with that 4+ save, he won’t want a bar of Joel’s killers.  He’s more of a combat sniper in this army, Stylin’ and Profilin’ through the backfield and picking easy fights in hard-to-reach places.  You wouldn’t use a Ferrari to pull a tractor, you wouldn’t open the batting with Jimmy Anderson (the cricket guy, not the Warhammer guy), and you wouldn’t push a Mangler Boss into Archaon. 

And the thing is – you don’t need to.  The Mangler zips around cleaning up soft targets, the Squigs grind down the Karens through attrition and modern-era Archaon can’t solo your army on his own.  

Fuck it, I’m tipping Jimmy Anderson.

The Verdict: James gets up in a nail-biter.  Joel takes this game way closer than he has any right to, then gets on the beers for the weekend and regrets nothing.

Mitch Bugg (9) vs Liam Burnett-Blue (8)

Who has the drop? Mitch, 2 drops

Who has the Triumph? Mitch, Inspired (+1 to Wound)

Great to see Liam still kicking it on top tables after all these years.  With only 3x Blissbarb units it’s not a factory-standard Slaanesh gunline, but they’re still good Battleline, and in the current meta it’s important to include a smattering of shooting if it’s available to you.  If you’re going deep into the event you’ll need to tackle Death Frenzied PCBs at some point; and when you do, you’ll need a better solution that throwing away your own best combat unit.  Three is also the magic number for triple-issuing All Out Attack in Pretenders, so there’s that.

The army will look cool on the table with those big centrepiece models (Liam is a fantastic hobbyist), but this is no novelty army – it is loaded with debuffs.  Is it enough to slow down the Grots though?

Mitch’s list is dope – other than the unusual Triumph choice, I’d say it’s “Competitive Gloomspite, April 2024 Edition”.  Can the Slaanesh debuffs slow down both units of Boingrots?  A crucial piece of tech here is the Crown of Dark Secrets for example (see below).  But with two good attack profiles plus charge mortals, Boingrots are perhaps less vulnerable to that than some key combat units would be, and it won’t impact the summoned units of 8 Boingrots at all.  So that’s effectively 3 out of 4 big melee threats that just don’t care, and one that can still probably handle the likes of Blissbards pretty well as a first wave. 

The Verdict: Liam’s layered debuffs will win plenty of games, but can they stem the flow of Squiggly Beasts? The sheer, relentless aggression of 2x 15 Boingrots could just overwhelm Slaanesh and I’m backing them to carry Mitch to victory here. The most likely thing that stops Mitch winning by a Round 4 tabling would be a Round 3 concession.

Joel McGrath (5) vs Zak Rockman (12)

Who has the drop? Joel, 13 drops (!)

Who has the Triumph? Neither, both 2k on the nose

And here’s the first of three matchups to feature a member of the Plastic Craic writing team! Our guy Joel has slipped in with 13 drops and 2000 points on the nose, somehow giving away neither the drops nor a Triumph. You’d have to be happy with that I reckon. Meanwhile Joel’s opponent Zak has been pounding the Big Waaagh all year, including an excellent 5-0 at Cancon, so Zak’s NH represents somewhat of a curveball here.

Joel’s Footslayers army has some similarities to the one I reviewed recently for Warzone GT, so forgive me if I cover the same ground again, but that 2” range on Vulkites has completely unlocked this army.  The Invocations are good in their own right and effectively give you a 3 VP headstart, Flamekeepers are laughably broken at 90 points (but have got away with it because the faction as a whole was underperforming), and Gyrocopters are an absolute chef’s kiss of an allied unit.  If these things had a little Grot piloting them, I’d be putting them in every list.

What about the spooky ghosts?  The subfaction switch off wards, which is an issue for Joel when one key piece of tech is enhanced wards via the Battlesmith.  The ghosts’ main schtick is combo-charging a key unit, debuffing the crap out of it and then just stripping it for parts.  Combined with the fact that bodyguard saves are now classed as wards – and one of Joel’s signature lists is Karazai with Praetor bodyguards – I do feel like Zak’s army is set up really well to dismantle a list that Joel didn’t bring.

The Verdict: I reckon Joel smokes him.  His list is crafted to keep secondaries ticking over nicely and it can out-trade the ghosts in a variety of ways.  Zak – if I’ve got this all wrong, you’re welcome to give me a heap of shit next time we’re at an event together, but I just can’t see this one ending up any other way than an emphatic victory for the orange midgets.

Thomas Oliver (4) vs Jacob Strachan (13)

Who has the drop? Tom, 1 drop

Who has the Triumph? Tom, Inspired (+1 to Wound)

Next up is another matchup featuring a member of the PC writing team, this time our guy Tomo taking on Jacob’s Tzeentch. B’e’l’a’k’o’r’s all round for the Chaos bros – chin chin! We’ve got a modern iteration of the Nurgle Flies list running into Tzeentch, where the only thing freer than the summoned Lords of Change are the 3x VPs from that insane Grand Strategy.

In fact Tzeentch has easy secondaries all the way up and all the way down, with the damage mostly coming from a face-melting barrage of mortal wounds. Can Tomo slow down Tzeentch’s summoning long enough to choke the army and knock over the spell casters?

Well Tom won’t need to cast a lot of spells on his side of the table (which would fuel the Tzeentch summoning engine) and The Dark Masturbator can potentially slow down the Lord of Change’s own casting to a grinding halt for one crucial early turn.   Or it could not, if Tom can’t roll a 3+.

The verdict: There’s a chance it comes right down to that early roll.  Can Belly hit that 3+ and switch off the LOC’s casting for one critical turn?  Come on Jacob, your guys are meant to be the ones who can see into the future, you tell us what’s going to happen!

I personally see this as being a rare high-level game that is massively influenced by dice, including key Prios (not many armies would want to just crash into screens then sit through back-to-back Tzeench hero phases), B’e’l’a’k’o’r rolls, maybe a clutch unbind and a failed short charge somewhere along the way too. If the event was being streamed, this would be my round one pick because it’ll go the distance and give you loads of stories, but I’ll back our guy Tom to come through in a nail-biter.

Speaking of which: I’ll hand you over to Tom now for his analysis of the remaining matchups. Let’s go!

Right-Hand Side of the Draw, by Thomas Oliver

Bob Van Emmerik (2) vs Anthony Quilty (15)

Who has the drop?  Anthony, 2 drops

Who has the triumph? Bob, Bloodthirsty

A Soulblight Gravelords mirror match off the bat? One could say that they deserve each other… and I for one do. Both have broken the mould with their lists, with Bob playing a really groovy monster mash with tons of synergy and Anthony opting for a step off the beaten track with a big block of Blood Knights and Vengorian Lord. This matchup has a lot of nuance and intricacies to think about; a statement rarely used when discussing unrendable death ball Vampire armies.

Bob is the King of SBGL in Aus and has been rocking a wide range of lists to success over the past year. It’s also a shame that he’s about the nicest guy on the planet too! His list is Mean with a capital ‘M’, bringing in Mannfred to complement the usual partnership of Neferata plus the VLoZD as a third central hitter in the list. Whilst Mannfred misses out on a few of the buffs from the subfaction, Legion of Blood, what he brings is a combat and utility monster who can countercharge with strike-first for some serious disruption plays. He also opens up a second wizard with the Lore of the Deathmages to double debuff opponents, by dropping their attacks characteristic while Neffy zaps their ‘to wound’ rolls. These in conjunction with some cool MSU scoring units are going to be crucial in building a great synergistic combat build for Bob.

On the other hand, Anthony has opted for subtlety and nuance in the form of 30 wounds of unrendable Blood Knight badassery. This unit probably directs attention and dictates decision making more in the matchup than anything else. I daresay that preventing this unit from gaining Dark Mist (ignores rend) will be the focus of Bob’s unbinding attention. Whilst there is a lot of damage in the monster bunker, it is absolutely attached to profiles that suffer against this tech dramatically, especially in conjunction with other abilities across the army. 

The Verdict: No doubt about it, this will resemble a pair of slugs making passionate love to each other, with mobility and the destruction of scoring units the key to each player’s plans, as buffed-up monsters fighting each other are the thing both players are probably aiming to avoid.

Ultimately, Bob’s control of the board should prove to be a versatile toolkit that will really enable him to counteract the huge problem that is Anthony’s list.

Terrence Voller (7) vs Mathew Tyrrell (10)

Who has the drop? Terrence, 1 drop

Who has the triumph? Mathew, 1960, Inspired

Ah yes, the clash of titans (and sex wizards). Terrence has terrorised many a New South Welshman with his use of a truly subtle volume of Blissbarbs. Terrence embraces my favourite approach to wargame list writing, which I affectionately refer to as ‘Warhammer Libertarianism’, fundamentally taking on the belief that support models are a theft of points that could just be spent on units that make you win games. The 77 Archers are going to dictate so much of this matchup, but don’t underestimate the inclusion of the Seekers and Daemonettes as screens, and Be’Lakor as a control piece with great scenario output. This list has warped the meta of our good country for a good little while and with good reason. It truly embraces the mandate that you must be “this” tall to ride.

And whilst Mr Terrence laid down the best and most unassuming plan, Mr Tyrrell, The Mayor himself has brought a bit of the Spice Melange to this matchup with Idoneth Deepkin. I gotta say: this feels like his list was personal. Terrence being a well-known bogeyman, with the beginning of every match turning into a re-enactment of the scene from 300 with Terrence saying “Our arrows will block out the sun!”. In this instance, Mat is responding with “Then we will fight in the shade”. The selection of IDK is a strong anti-pick going into this Round 1 pairing, leveraging the suite of rules that control shooting, forcing Terrence to shoot at the nearest targets and being invisible from more than 12” away. To top this off, the inclusion of the Krondspine puts a really big clock on the Slaanesh army as it is a second durable threat that could thin the output of the sex wizards down to the point where they crumble as the game progresses. The Krondspine is also a really dangerous piece to absorb the fabled triple Unleash Hell, facilitating the forces of Order going all “Eels up inside ya”.

The Verdict: All in all, this is a massive rocket tag matchup. It will be bloody, explosive and finished very decisively. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mat and his Idoneth take the matchup.

Michael Clarke (6) vs Jake Gunning (11)

Who has the drop? Clarkey, 4

Who has the triumph? Clarkey, 1960, Indomitable (in Gargants???)

Savagery. Pure Savagery. On the one hand, we have a refined list with a myriad of considered and intricate list building choices such as: Do I want the tall guy with a rock, or a stick? On the other hand we have: Would sure be a shame if that unit you killed came straight back to life.

This is going to be a nuclear matchup: Clarkey’s list is going to live and die by the durability of his army and whether he can tank the hard hitters of Morhbeg Knights, Crypt Horrors and Beast Slayers. This is going to be a rough one for the Sons, where the two ways Clarkey could approach the matchup (either by spreading for scenario and winning isolated fights, or building a castle) are both susceptible to being hit over and over again by units with pretty phenomenal output. The monster control that Beastflayers bring is definitely something that the Sons will need to look out for.

Having said that, the durability and damage potential of the Gargants is never something to gloss over. The FEC army will have to be cautious of the triviality with which a Gargant can lift valuable units in the blink of an eye. The blow-for-blow exchanges throughout this game are going to be wild and both players are going to be doing everything they can to extend the game as long as they can.

Michael Clarke (the AOS guy, not the cricket guy) will benefit massively from the AOR’s ability to hit heroes from range, shutting down the FEC forces and bringing the matchup into the disgusting term known as a ‘fair fight’. If he can focus on denying Noble Deeds Points through unbinding, there’s a decent chance that Jake will struggle to maximise recursion throughout the game as Gargants do not tend to give up wounds cheaply to heroes fighting them.

The Verdict: This is a super interesting matchup and both players have the capacity to make the other’s life a misery as the game progresses. When all is said and done, I think that FEC is so dangerous to Gargants that even with a diminished capacity to resurrect, Jake’s undead will have an edge with mobility and output in the matchup.

Kieran Coates (3) vs James Hallam (14)

Who has the drop? James, 1

Who has the triumph? James, 1940, Inspired

Ooft… This is a matchup that deserves each other. In the rat corner we have Kieran running a fairly conventional Skaven list with a Bell, a Furnace and a bunch of surprise PCB’s. James in the floating dwarf corner is bringing an extermination squad. Kieran has a reputation that he brings from Masters 2023 with his stratospheric rise, using the ratmen to cause some pretty big upsets and narrowly miss taking out the title of Australian Master 2023 in the final.

Hey look, it’s a whole bunch of appropriately-costed Plague Censer Bearers

Going through the matchup, both of these lists bring versatility in spades. Kieran’s list has the option to modify tempo based on matchups, with the Bell x Furnace combo being a great screen into melee or splash damage-based armies, facilitating late-game combat efforts by the PCBs. Inversely, in a matchup where an opponent does not bring a static board presence, he can switch gears and deliver a heavy alpha with help from the Masterclan charges. Scenario dependent, but Skabbik could be a lynch pin that shuts off the KO capacity to score points. Combine this with a cheeky Warp Lightning Vortex to slow movement and Kieren is building to flood the table and control the rhythm.

On the other hand, James has brought a bevy of highly dangerous shooting that will be able to punish the Skaven army. The possibility of scalpelling out key pieces without reprisal is real and will be an aggressive threat to Kieren’s ability to sustain scenario throughout the course of the game. This list is going to give a moment’s pause to sending the Skaven heavily into bunkers like the Ironclad with the threat of an extremely potent Unleash Hell. Match this with the mobility of Fly High, and the KO force could prove slippery to catch on objectives. Having said that, within the context of this matchup, I expect that this list will be gunning to whittle down the rats with double turns to secure attritional and scenario advantage as the game progresses.

The Verdict: Flexibility is going to be the name of the game and I think the KO probably feel the need to focus their board presence heavily in one bunker, limiting their ability to withstand the pressure that Kieran and his Skaven will force from the get-go.

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Tom’s Conclusion: And there you have it. I think this is a spread of lists and players where calling the outcome of this tournament is a fool’s errand. As an attendee, I am certainly excited to compete at this level against what is a truly great group of guys. At the end of the day, I am sure that the real winner will be the friends we make along the way?

Pete’s Conclusion: Ah, a fool’s errand you say? Count me in! Well I’ve already been way too kind to my fellow Plastic Craic writers, so they can all get fucked. And we’ve hypothetically knocked out 8 people above, so we’re starting to get down to a shortlist of 5 or 6 players at that point.

There’s a couple of people who look to have gambled on their opening matchup and lost, a couple more who’ve gambled and won, but the one player who looks to me like they’re sitting in that sweet spot of being a top, top player, knowing their own army inside out and back to front, and being less exposed to an obviously awful matchup is….Bob van Emmerick.

Apparently he’s a great bloke but if he gets shot to fuck by James’s KO in the later rounds, I hope he does the decent thing and has an almighty tantrum, complete with smashed minis, tears and snot running down his bright-purple face and all rounded off with a massive rant on Twitter. That’s what I would do, anyway.

But that’s another reason why I’m not the next Australian Master, and Bob just might be. Good luck mate.

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To everyone involved – congratulations on getting there, you’ve earned your seat at the highest of tables. Here’s wishing safe travels on your adventures to my friend and colleague Clarkey, and I hope you’ve all enjoyed playing 3rd Edition as much as I’ve enjoyed ragging on KO.

Catch you on the other side.

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