The sky churned with thick columns of smoke clawing toward the void, as if the Gods themselves recoiled from the spectacle below. I staggered through the shattered remnants of the Eyes of the Prismatikon, clutching the sacred shards of the Agloraxi close to my chest—a futile gesture now, in the face of such crude, relentless destruction on the streets below.

They swarmed up the river like a tide of rot and fury, sails stitched from flayed hides and daubed with crude glyphs. Orruks. Filthy, bellowing beasts with rusted cleavers and cracked teeth like jagged tombstones. Our wards, our traps, our sacred horrors—none of it mattered. They tore through our defenses not with dark sorcery or cunning strategy, but with sheer, joyful violence. I watched from the heights as the Grand Plaza fell, saw the Colossus of Y’grax toppled beneath waves of green-skinned raiders, their guttural laughter rising over the screams of my brethren.

As the city burned, we fled in something closer to blind panic than I would ever admit. With the stench of blood and smoke finally fading into the distance we reached the haven of the Riven Depths, where Melek-toth, Lord of the Prism had rallied his own ragged band of survivors. We collapsed into their campground in grateful exhaustion. “One last push, my brother?” One last push.

---

Welcome to Round 3 of Secrets of the Agloraxi: the Plastic Craic Global Campaign, 2025! This is a Matched Play Campaign where players are running their own regular 2000 point armies in their own local games – including at tournaments – and all the extra sauce takes place on the map between rounds.

The big news is that the Free Ghur Corsairs haven’t collected a whole lot of treasure, but they’ve certainly had a big impact on the map as they sacked the Eyes of the Prismatikon in Round 3, taking this prized jewel from the clutches of the Cult of the Agloraxi:

But even that wasn’t enough carnage for the boyz in green, because they invested all of the resources they’d patiently accumulated¹ into shooting up as many enemy territories as they possibly could, turning massive chunks of the map into glass craters (and self-detonating a lot of their own troops along the way). At the end of the day, a Warhammer map campaign is all about the enemies we make along the way, and the FGC have set about making plenty here in 2025.

The Drakmire Lords in Exile meanwhile went quietly about their business, consolidating their growing empire to the North and securing the Realmgate, which will allow them to attack anywhere on the map in the 4th and Final round – but the stockpile of materiel they’d built up to exploit that plan has been heavily depleted by the Orruks’ block spree. Still, they’re sitting pretty with a lot of territory going into the endgame.

Finally the Cult of the Agloraxi may have been ejected from their ancestral home by a band of Orruk raiders, but they kept a steely-eyed focus on the task in hand. Their lands won’t be reclaimed by getting drawn into endless scraps, so the Cult pushed West to rally their forces. They ended the round by spending the last of their resources not on returning fire at the Orruks, but blasting the northern strongholds of the Drakmire Lords, who at this stage are their true rivals.

Let’s take a look at what’s been going on in the penultimate round. A couple of highlights include:

• The Free Ghur Corsairs have written their own Pirate Code! You can check it out in the Campaign coverage at the end.
• Bingus of the Drakmire Lords tells us how he beat the tar out of S2D with his Sons of Behemat. Slaves are a menace right now and DPS armies in general are a relentless nightmare for the big lads, so this is great feedback in the Gaming section.
• In the Hobby space, ThomasX of the Cult of the Agloraxi has upcycled himself a sweet second Black Coach. Reduce, re-use, recycle!

If you need some more context, you can check out our intro, plus the Round 1 and Round 2 coverage. Now let’s get into what’s been going on in Round 3.

Gaming

Drakmire Lords in Exile

The Drakmire Lords in Exile once ruled the prosperous city of Drakmire, until the arrival of a band of Ogors seeking refuge within the city’s walls. Initially welcomed as mercenaries and labourers, the Ogors cunningly ingratiated themselves into the city’s criminal underworld, gradually consolidating power. Over time, they transformed into a ruthless gangster-politician class, corrupting the city’s leadership and manipulating the system for their own gain. With the Ogors ultimately controlling the city’s politics, the Drakmire Lords were ousted, their noble bloodline shattered. Now exiled, they rely on cunning alliances and brutal mercenaries to one day return to their city and crush the Ogors who betrayed them.

Bingus is running a band of mercenary Mega-Gargants enlisted to the cause of the Lords in Exile. His local S2D opponent has been on that 3D6 charge juice lately, with some beautifully obnoxious tech:

• Use the Bridge to teleport (and 3D6 charge) 6x Varanguard
• Place 10 Slaanesh Chosen in the Silver Tower
• Teleport the Gaunt Summoner, then throw down the Chosen 9” away
• This feels like ASS to play into

Infinite damage, anywhere on the table. Should be a nightmare for Sons of Behemat, right? So here’s how Bingus went about his task.

• Turn 1, his opponent shoved in his army and charged two of the Megas.
• Ladies and gentlemen, we have Buc-ees tins. Here’s a reconstruction of how it went down with the candy representing terrain pieces (which are important).
• This was Bingus’s deployment zone after his opponent charged in both hammer units:

The Gatebreaker smashed the terrain (Buc-ees candy), picked up a Chosen and did some wounds to the Varanguard. The other Rampages were Roaring at the Varanguard (to keep them on 3s and 3s), Stomping on Chosen and then picking up one more of them.

The Varanguard swung and did 28 wounds to Grundle (the guy with the hat). Brodd swung back and took the Chosen down to two models (THANK GORK). The Chosen duly swung into the Gatebreaker and did 6 wounds before the Warstomper went and POPPED OFF. Prized Beast is CRAZY. That ended up leaving 2 Varanguard which the Gatebreaker mopped up, letting the remaining Chosen sit in combat with two Megas (they did a few more wounds with the fight again).

When Bingus and his opponent talked about it post game, he’d apparently mathed it out that the Varanguard should pick up one Mega with the Khorne buffs, but they didn’t account for the Ward, but also losing some output before the combat phase even gets cranking from that one Mega throwing out mortals near terrain.

From that turn, Be’lakor Dark Mastered King Brodd which sucked, but whatever. Brodd’s prayer was allowed to go off which got some healing on the Warstomper, with a timely Rally combining to bring him back to 12 wounds. Bingus popped up his Bottlesnatchas in his opponent’s backfield to get Take Their Land and cap their home objective. The Warstomper stepped back a little, just in case Bingus lost Prio, and after wiping up the remaining Chosen…. Bingus duly won the double.

The Gobbapalooza turned off commands for Be’lakor² and got off Sneaky Distraction. The revitalised Warstomper took run + charge from the Rabble Rowsa and popped Furious Temper. Bela’Kunt got his Strike First off, but he whiffed pretty hard from -1 hit and no AOA, so the Warstomper duly picked him up. That left two Chariots and a Summoner – and that’s game, Hendrix.

Still with the Lords, Graal is an Unstoppable Sigmar Machine, pounding out the reps every week and recording his own handsome win against Slaves. His opponent killed Kroak T1, but sacrificed Varanguard and a Gaunt Summoner to do so, and he got ground down from there.

But if you keep playing Kroak Roulette, you’ll land on a green zero eventually; and in Graal’s game vs FEC this round, the toad took 3 damage at the top of Turn 2….and rolled 18. Whomp Whomp.

Pitching a No Hitter. Bowling a Hat Trick³. Hitting 501 with 9 darts. Sometimes you really can taste perfection, and Grant (Farmhammer) did exactly that with his Stormcast Eternals:

And as long as you don’t ask Grant how those SCE went for him at Tracksuit GT, everything will be grand.

What is it with S2D currently⁴? Will also had a great game against that army, ending up in a 30-30 draw on The Vice. The key moment was when Will’s Executioners and Hammerers charged into Be’lakor and exterminated the bastard:

Free Ghur Corsairs

The Free Ghur Corsairs are a ruthless band of Orruk and Grot pirates who sail the treacherous seas of the Mortal Realms, plundering merchant ships and coastal settlements. Known for their savage raiding tactics and chaotic, unpredictable nature, they are fiercely united under their charismatic (and often mad) leaders, whose vision of freedom on the high seas keeps the crew loyal and bloodthirsty.

P’tit Fut and Ben L have both been crunching out the Ws with their Gits:

Fut had a lucky escape in his Gloompsite game. His Araknarok and Troggboss Leroy Jenkins were set up on the two sides of the board, ready to secure a late game tactic and an insurmountable 12 point lead. But it would be a shame not to fight with that beautiful big spider, right?

So she charged into combat…putting her OUTSIDE of 6″ from the board edge (and even going back into her own territory!!!!). In the end Fut held on (just) but it’s a good learning point….honestly, we’ve all been there at some point in AOS4⁵, getting carried away with the action and forgetting to secure what should have been an automatic BT.

Cult of the Agloraxi

The Cult of the Agloraxi is a fanatical group of Chaos worshippers who believe that their ancestors were the mighty rulers of a vast, ancient empire and have returned from the afterlife to guide them. Visited by ghostly manifestations of their forebears, the Cultists are driven by the vision of resurrecting their long-fallen civilization, now empowered by the dark blessings of the Chaos Gods.

ThomasX managed to fit in one game… and that was a loss. ThomasX’s list was an experimental MSU-style list for Nighthaunt⁶ to step outside the Deathstalkers comfort zone, tackling his son’s all-new Big Waaagh AOR starring 2x reinforced Brute units backed up by Zoggy. The battleplan was Focal Points and ThomasX butchered huge swathes of Orruks across an early double turn, although the Crit Mortal combo from Zoggy x Brutes meant it came at a heavy cost.

The game pivoted when Big Waaagh started bringing back 10 Brutes in total (5+5) and 5 Gutrippaz across a few turns. With the Brutes (and some successful 9” charges) he managed to wipe out most of ThomasX’s remaining units, while the returned Gutrippaz grabbed ThomasX’s home objective. The big learning point was: Kill That General! All of Big Waaagh’s recursion hinges on him staying alive, so commence harassing them at the earliest opportunity.

ThomasX’s conclusion on the MSU style for NH is that it’s interesting, but they do still need a reinforced heavy hitter unit in the list (either BGR or GGR).

Elsewhere for the Cult, Xander absolutely battered his mate’s Sons of Behemat with S2D:

Meanwhile Manic managed a win against Gitz on Starstrike, a real immovable object of 18 Trolls. Thankfully Manic brought the unstoppable force of reinforced blocks of Chosen, Knights and Theridons. The single objective was smack bang in the middle of the board; Gitz were given first turn and took the objective and the Flanks for 10 points. In reply Manic went in full send at the bottom of 1 with all three hammers, and smacked the living shit out of them.

Hobby

Time to check out the progress people have been making on their campaign armies.

Free Ghur Corsairs

Let’s hear it for Ben L‘s Stumblefoot Gargant, which he’s added to his Gits list along with his little pals:

Don’t think I’ve ever seen a wargaming mini wearing a cowl that didn’t look amazing. That’s a Duncan Shadow 3D print if you like it as much as I do.

And Fut’s Trugg is sensational. Those pink tufts really POP, and check out the detail on those eyes:

Drakmire Lords in Exile

Grant (Farmhammer) has completed some sweet Reclusians for his army, and I’ve chosen to believe that thosee black and white halves are a direct reference to the mighty Collingwood FC of Australian Rules football:

While Bingus’s hobby this time around was limited to hitting the Gonster:

Does rolling drice and drinking Gonster count as Hobby? Well I guess it doesn’t count as a job⁷, so…?

Cult

ThomasX made time in-between getting smashed by his son’s Brutes to transform this Mortis Engine into a second Black Coach for his Double Coach list:

And Xander Bennett, Award-Winning Artist is so good, he can even make Flamers look pretty:

Manic has been working on the Forbidden Power Manifestations to keep ramming in those Chosen from all angles:

And finally, John Triplow has rounded off a productive Hobby period for the Cult by painting up some disgusting slobs, better known as Mackems Blight Kings:

Campaign

(Three-cornered) hats off to P’tit Fut who has drafted up a full Pirate Code for the Free Ghur Corsairs! These were very much a thing back in the day, and you can see some real-world examples here, which have influenced the Articles in the Corsairs’ own Code.

The full pdf is linked down below, and here’s the truncated version:

HONOURABLE PIRATE CODE of da FREE GHUR CORSAIRS

1. Kaptin Ben is well ‘ard! So when he walks past you better stand up straight and stop picking yer noses.

2. Anyone who talks rude to Kaptin Ben gets punishment by “Grom’s Law”:
Your legs will be strapped to 3 angry wolves and they will be whipped to run in opposite directions. One wolf each for the left leg, the right leg and da middle leg.

3. Every Git shall get an equal share of all booty. Kaptin Ben gets 2 full shares.

4. CORSAIRS always stick together:
• Any Git found talking to Humies gets 10 lashes
• Any Git found talking to Stunties gets 20 lashes
• And any Git found talking to Aelves has to go and live with the bastards

5. When we are at sea:
• No battle brew after 7pm
• No purple mushrooms after 8pm
• No yellow mushrooms after 9pm
• All lights out by 10pm on nights of a raid. All torches to be dunked in water and all Glow-Squigs to be stamped on

6. Every Git will keep his Slitta sharp and his Basha shiny. If Kaptin Ben finds anyone in possession of rusty or blunt knives, he will use them to cut off their dicks

WE SWEAR TO LIVE BY THESE RULES
(And in the case of Kaptin Ben, these guidelines)

With the new Gloomspite book landing, Fut’s lil pirates have played their last game under the light of a roving Bad Moon which he marked with this story centred around his win vs IJ:

The Gitz, still mad with the sensation of winning, were confused my the disappearance of Da Moon. Picking up everyone, foes and allies alike, our three heroes decided to follow where it disappeared.

As they marched toward its last seen position, they entered a swamp. Fellwater Troggoths were delighted to be able to drink the foul water again, but the Gitz were walking in water that was chin-high.

The Gits were climbing over the Troggoths when they heard the mad cackling of their distant cousins, the Ironjawz. The fight was quick and violent: the Waaagh pushed through their ranks, killing Troggoths like they were mere Grots. But as the fight escalated, Boule freed a Mancrusher Gargant that had been captured by the Orks

The bold Gits finally managed to pull through and be victorious, thanks to the help of a giant spider and the captured Mancrusher, who left the battlefield as soon as the battle ended.

Wrapping it up

So that’s Round 3 all done and dusted! You can check out the detailed map below:

In the next and final update we’ll find out which faction has unlocked the Secrets of the Agloraxi and won the PC Global Campaign, 2025.

Generally it looks like the Corsairs are just here to cause maximum carnage at this stage, which at least it on brand, but Fut will share the story of that time he scored both Destro battle tactics in one game. And it couldn’t be much tighter between the Cult of the Agloraxi and the Lords in Exile – so check back in a couple of weeks, when we’ll crown the winners!

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1. They’d saved it for a rainy day…well guess what, today it’s raining hot lead, morthefuckazzzzz ↩︎
2. How’d ya like them apples? Sucks not being able to use your own units properly, hey? ↩︎
3. Cricket bowling. Americans can replace that reference with 12 consecutive strikes for ten pin bowling though. ↩︎
4. They’re lightning fast, crank out insane damage and have the most game-breaking Monster Hero in the game. That’s what. ↩︎
5. Eh well I have, anyway! ↩︎
6. Since you ask: 2 Black Coaches, 2x (non reinforced) Bladegheist, 2x (non-reinforced) Grimghast, 1x Dreadscythe, 1x Chainrasps, 1x Chainghasts and 3x Heroes (Lord Exec, GoS and Awlrach). ↩︎
7. Could it count as a job? I feel like I’d be good at that job. ↩︎