Morning legends! If you thought the Sigmar reveals at Adepticon were lacklustre, don’t worry because we’ve got great news – our inside contact in the industry, Betoota Gaming Store owner Cam Grundbuch has got the inside track on a new Kruleboyz release and he’s spilling the beans today! Cam’s AOS4 leaks at this time last year were of course proved to be 100% acccurate, so strap yourselves in for a banger of a reveal.
Cam had a visit from his sales rep, so let’s relay their discussion right now….
Sales Rep: Great news! Kruleboyz famously have a small and lopsided range – lots of monsters, mostly with crap rules, and no cavalry options at all. In fact Kruleboyz players have been crying out for cavalry for years at this point. So we’re doing the obvious thing…and releasing another Kruleboyz Monster!
Cam: OK….what have you got in mind?
Sales Rep: Kruleboyz are famous for sneaking around with their dirty tricks, so we’re releasing a Stealth Gargant. Shrouded in swamp mist, and so sneaky you can’t see it at all. Ta da!
Cam: Wait, we’re selling them an empty base?
Sales Rep: No, no, no, no, no! You’ve got it all wrong. What we’re selling here, my friend, is a hobby opportunity. You can have an invisible model and still create great art – just stick some leaves on the base or some shit.
Cam: [Looks nervously at wall full of unsold Skaventide boxes]. Hmm…I’m not sure my customers will go for that. To be honest I’ve already got a bit of cash tied up in AOS stock that isn’t moving as quickly as I’d hoped.
Sales Rep: You and me both, mate. You’ve just got to think of new approaches to move it along.
Cam: [Looks nervously at wall full of unsold Gitmob boxes]. So your big idea is giving boxes away for free at events?
Sales Rep: Not at all, because dumping it for $0 would devalue the product! So we prefer the term “Included in your ticket price”.
Cam: Got it. And what about the poor buggers who already paid for those boxes, what’s your preferred term for them?
Sales Rep: Either “Loyal Customer” or “Pay Pig”, the two are interchangeable.
Cam: Right, right. And can I assume that after being dead-last for basically their entire lifespan, this empty base reflects your future plans for Kruleboyz?
Sales Rep: Future plans? For Kruleboyz? Ha, good one! So how many Stealth Gargants can I put you down for?
Cam: Let me flip that around: can I interest you in a Skaventide box or three?
Sales Rep: Sorry mate, my recycling bin is already full. Catch ya!
So there you go Kruleboyz players, get keen! Your book may have been rushed out so the Devs can concentrate on the armies they like, but there’s always AOS 5th Edition, amirite?
This article was written and published in Australia on 1st April 2025. And if you’re reading this while it’s still March 31st wherever you are: remember, it’s beer o’clock somewhere.
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