by Peter Atkinson

I’ll be repping the Bonesplitterz at Vic GT this weekend, including a couple of custom minis.  GW has never released anything for this army¹, so I’ll just make my own models – and use them with existing Warscrolls.

Conversion 1: Squeals on Wheels

How do you make a centrepiece unit for an army whose whole identity is hunting Monsters for their bones?  Surprisingly the Rogue Idol or even Arachnarok Spiders do work, given that they don’t have bones², but the unit I’ve always wanted is a huge chariot pulled by a full team of pigs. 

So I’ve scratch built one, which I’ll be running this weekend (using the Kragnos warscroll):

I was rapt that the putty held up the battering ram, although the underslung chain is there to help support it too.

The Orruk himself is holding a Big Stabba which is a cheat code for instant Bonesplitterz-ification. I was initially planning to stick some Fanatics / Mangler Grots on the back, clinging on for dear life as it zoomed forward to make the model look more kinetic.  But I liked the squat, boxy feel – it felt solid and orcy – so I ran with the brick shithouse look instead.

It’s got a few Monster trophies on there too to keep the theme.  The fella riding the chariot started life as an Ogor Leadbelcher and the battering ram was cobbled together from the Mancrusher kit:

So I’ve got no qualms about running Kraggy in this list now.  He’s already got the Bonesplitterz keyword and now he’s got an Orruk model to match – Donkey Dick has been upgraded, and now he’s a Big Green Sex Machine.

I made extensive use of the Mancrusher kit in this project, including clipping off his Flava Flav chain for the stone wheels – and like any Destro player I had plenty of leftover Thundertusk bits on sprue from all those Stonehorns I’ve built over the years.

Conversion 2: Stumblefoot Gargant

And we’ve also got an ROR in the list!  I like this guy’s warscroll because he adds some Neg 1 to your portfolio of debuffs, and what’s more he keep things interesting by giving you a little bit to do in various phases of the game.  He’s famously as soft as butter but the OC10 with bonus slippery movement can steal VPs and make memories.

Isn’t that just a Mancrusher painted green?

Well yeah. I did a little bit of putty work to make his ears pointy (with limited success – I’m more of a bodger than a fine detail guy) and straightened up his stance slightly.  In terms of theming, we’ve also given him the standard conversion crutch legendary Big Stabba weapon, plus that animal pelt over his shoulder (pilfered from the Ironblaster kit) because we’re hunters.

My head cannon for this guy is quite simple: he’s a big, extra-hard orc.  The fluff for Orruks has always been “Strength from Victory”, i.e. they get bigger and harder the more fights they win, so I’m just filling in a gap in the range here.  Giant Orruks should already be a thing on the tabletop and if GW can’t be bothered to make one, then dammit I’ll make one myself!

The List

I’ve gone high drop mainly to fit in the heroes and ROR I wanted, but I probably should have put the pigs in with Kragnos’s Regiment to act as a Bodyguard. At least it makes Slay the Entourage tricky for your opponent.

Is high drops the right choice? It’s true that Kop Rukk Kragnos can’t handle getting doubled, but then he can’t handle a lot of things – like Longstrikes and Fight First S2D, both of which will of course be out in force at this event.  So I have to be realistic about my targets this weekend, and they’re centred around enjoying some games with my hand-built units.

The army does have some tricks of its own.  It really likes playing into armies that rely on Wards – Kop Rukk Bonesplitterz lift Rockguts clean off the table – and the Savage Big Boss is a supreme Sarge.  As a competitive player you’d hope for at least 3-2 as a baseline acceptable score but I think that’s the ceiling of what I can expect with this list in the current meta, not the floor.  Vic GT is a shark tank and you can’t expect to spend the whole of Day 1 smashing noobs like you would in really large field.  I’d certainly take a 3-2 plus some good stories if you offered it to me right now.

The Event

Vic GT is Measured Gaming’s signature competitive GT for the year, and someone is going to get their name engraved on this sweet perpetual trophy:

It’s also host to The World’s Richest AOS Quiz. My friend and colleague Pat Nevan is TO for the event and he runs a quiz on the Saturday night, with a spread of AOS and general knowledge rounds. Most of the prize support goes into prizes for the quiz and we’ve assembled a crack Plastic Craic squad to have a tilt at that:

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So that’s my Bonesplitterz army for Vic GT!  I would have liked to show some photos of the chariot painted up but it’s going to be wet on the table, and in any case it’s more of a building project than a painting project.

As for the rest of the team who are in attendance: Joel is running Stormcast, Pat will be TO and running the famous Saturday Night Quiz, while Zak is bringing a competitive DOK list.  I’m grudging our friend and Patreon Maximus in Round One, who’s bringing Ironjawz (Zoggy’s AOR).

Time to find out which Orruks are Da Best – can’t wait!

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1. BuT whAT aBOut thE unDErWorLds waRbANd? ↩︎
2. Yup. Pebbles is an obvious one being a rock and all, but spiders also don’t have bones – they’ve got an exoskeleton of chitin (similar to what your fingernails are made of). Hence the “Chitinous Legs” melee profile. ↩︎